Recently a long-term patron passed away, a patron whom I have had the pleasure to serve across various jobs at different places of employment during my career.
His death is deeply impacting me, weaving its way through my sense of the world in unyielding ways.
The first time I served him at my current job was when the Library was only offering curbside service in June of 2020. The patron rode his bike around the parking lot multiple times. Finally with a shaking voice he rode up to the curbside window and asked, "Hey. Uh hi. Um do you have any pack things?" It took me a moment to realize what he was referring to. But on that beautiful day in June, the first Pride Party Packs were sitting on a table near me and I realized this must be what he is referring to. A bag of goodies with various Queer Pride oriented items. My Queer Self said in a way too excited way, "Oh are you referring to the Pride Party Packs!? I have them right here!" In a monotone, shaking voice, the patron responded, "Yes. I know I'm an adult, but can I get one?" Which I again in a gleeful way said, "Of course!!! The Pride Party Packs are for everyone!!!" and with a huge rainbow on the outside of the packs, I gave him one which he quickly shoved in his black backpack. A feeling I am all too familiar with. Hiding in plain sight in our rural small community. As he got ready to depart and I assumed our interaction was over, he turned back to me and said, "This bag is truly life-saving. Life-saving. Please remember that when you face pushback from anyone." He then rode off and I have never forgotten that interaction.
Over the years he continued to come into the Library. None of my staff connected with his monotone, logic-driven communication style, but were happy to provide him with services. However, he would frequently swing into my office, always with a slightly shaky voice to ask me about a Queer event in the community or a LGBTQIA+ book he couldn't find on our shelves, or to express gratitude for inclusion after programs or library services were provided. When a gender neutral restroom was created at the branch, he came into my office and again told me that action was "Life-saving. Please remember that when you face pushback."
I hope that the library provided him with exactly what he needed. But I also reflect on the many ways that maybe I could have increased those "Life-saving" moments for him or others.
I know that my mere existence as a proud Queer person in our small rural community has an impact every day. I know that there are parts of my identity that I keep silent, but I hope my actions always amplify inclusion and belonging. When I feel excluded. When I feel like I do not belong. When I am struggling in a challenge or push back. When I. . .
I will continue to hear his voice in my head.
In whatever moment in time, what is being done can be "Life-saving" and you may never truly know the depth of your impact.
Rest gently, rest in power.
Mx Troi Gale is currently employed at North Olympic Library System as a Library Manager for two small rural library branches. Xe has been in libraries for fifteen years, spanning two public library systems, as well as working as a Prison Branch Librarian for Washington State Library’s Institutional Library Services department.
Troi also has a background in crisis response, working for non-profits centering poverty alleviation. Troi holds a Bachelors from Fairhaven College in “Building Community & Resources” as well as an MLIS from the University of Washington. Troi is currently taking classes to earn an Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion certification from the University of Washington.
In xer off time, xe is on the Board of Directors for two poverty alleviation and equity based non-profits. Xe also spends plenty of time with the 15 year old in the household and xer fiancee, a dog, and a glorious cat.
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